Five Reasons I Hate Birds (for Ketchup With Us)

Day 9 of the numbered post a day challenge from Ketchup With Us – brought to you by Michele at ODNT and Mel at According to Mags – and this one from me is letting you in on something that’s not quite a secret to people who know me well.  I don’t like birds.  I actually would even say I hate them.  That hatred stems from an intense fear I have had of them for a long, long time.  The fear started when I was a child, walking down a very long laneway to catch the school bus.  There was a bird who’d made a nest on a fence post, about halfway down the laneway.  It decided my brother and I were threats, and so every time we walked down and up it would fly toward us, circling our heads.  Sending us a message.  Things didn’t get any better after my brother thought it would be fun to shoot a BB gun at it.  (I guess he was a threat, but not poor little me!)  The bird got more aggressive…and I can’t say I blame it.  However, it made my walk to and from the school bus TERRIFYING.  Luckily, the bird wasn’t there that long, and the terror ended.  But not before I developed a fear of these winged creatures.  So, for my Ketchup With Us blog post today, I decided to list the…

Five Reasons I Hate (More Specifically, Am Afraid of) Birds

1)  They’re unpredictable.  You never quite know what they’re going to do.  Land on you?  Fly into your hair?  Poop on you?  Peck your eyes out?  Once when I was living in Toronto, I stepped into the apartment building elevator, and didn’t survey my surroundings like I almost always did.  About halfway into the trip, I looked to my right and saw a young woman with a bird.  Not in a cage or anything.  Completely free.  I started panicking inside.  If only I had looked before I stepped on the elevator, I would’ve waited for the next one.  I was now stuck there.  I just hoped we’d get to the lobby quickly.  But it wasn’t quick enough, because the bird started flying at me!  Traumatizing.

2)  They swarm.  I remember throwing a stone at a seagull once in Florida, because I wanted a bird to leave – I should’ve known better – and suddenly I was swarmed by dozens of seagulls, thinking I was throwing food.  It was like something out of the movie “The Birds”.

3)  They have sharp beaks and claws.  Ouch.

4)  They have beady little eyes.  Have you ever looked into a bird’s eyes?  Freaky.

5)  They are messy/dirty. The ones in my neighbourhood come out on garbage day and rip into the garbage bags, making a big mess.  It doesn’t matter what time we put the bags out, the crows always have time to make sure the garbage is strewn all over the lawns and street.  They also make an absolute mess on our deck, our vehicles, our driveway, and our front steps whenever they feel the urge to poop.  Gross.

And knowing that a group of crows is called a MURDER makes them all the more scary, doesn’t it???  See???

You, too, can take part in the numbered post a day challenge this month, just like Michele, Mel, and me!  You can get the details on their websites!  Happy writing!


4 thoughts on “Five Reasons I Hate Birds (for Ketchup With Us)

  1. Pingback: Three of My Favourite Videos of Zoey (for Ketchup With Us) | Radio Chick's Reflections

  2. Pingback: Eight Facts I’ve Disclosed About Myself This Month (for Ketchup With Us) | Radio Chick's Reflections

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